I’d like to welcome you to my “commercial” blog. My name is Kathy McMahon, or “Dr. K”, and I’m a clinical psychologist who cares about Peak Oil, climate change and economic hard times, and cares about the people who are worried about these issues.

Why the name ‘Feisty Life’ for an online coaching or therapy blog? Because, my friends, “feisty” is a great quality to have as things continue to deteriorate around us.

Feisty means:

“Tenacious, energetic, spunky, lively; belligerent; prepared to stand and fight, especially in spite of relatively small stature or some other disadvantage; easily offended and ready to bicker; excitable, spirited; showing courage.” “It has also appeared in an advertisement for a high-performance car, presumably suggesting that the car is fast, tough, and exciting to drive.” That describes my contributors on one website: “Feisty is changing too quickly for dictionaries to keep up with – and it remains to be seen what the accepted meaning will eventually be.”

Let’s not wait around.

The look and the message of this site is the same here: Real change is going to require someone who doesn’t ‘mind their p’s and q’s.’ Real change requires, as I say in my subheading, someone who simply refuses to crack under pressure.

Pressure.

We’ll be facing a whole lot more of it in the future, is my prediction. So instead of cowering and crying “Uncle!” before the action really gets going, I’d like to suggest that you consider what’s coming a sort of tempering of will, a survival challenge, a check on community resilience, and a test to measure your sanity. Don’t bow. Don’t apologize. Don’t back down and say “I’m not up for the challenge.” Be feisty.

If you feel you are having trouble getting through it, get some help to lead that Feisty Life. Feisty help. I’ve spent the last four years corresponding with people just like you. People desperate to make sense of the emotional turmoil they are going through. Feisty, tough, free-thinking types who just don’t want to ignore what they know to be true and aren’t willing to escape into the mindless wonderland we call ‘popular media” …at least not full time.

Yes, you’ve looked at our situation squarely, and yes, you’ve been shaken to the core by what you’ve learned. You may have become, to the uninitiated, “crazy.” But you aren’t crazy, and neither am I.
“Everybody that grasps the peak oil story quickly begins to understand the physical ramifications that it will mean to our lives, but few take that look in the bathroom mirror and see that bewildered individual looking back. It’s what this [Peak Oil] issue does to our mental processes.”

Maybe you feel crazy, or you are suffering physical, psychological, social or spiritual symptoms that would fit neatly into a psychiatric definition of a mental disorder. Maybe you are searching for some clear-headedness, some promise that what you are going through is not a sign of utter madness.

It’s not.

“You can go and see a psychologist for many different things. But try and talk to a psychologist about peak oil, and they are likely to think you truly are ‘out there’, if not worse.”

Are you having trouble sleeping, or concentrating on your job? Or do you worry incessantly about your own safety and the safety of your family? Many of us feel alienated from our friends, or fight with our spouses. Our previous recreational pleasures, even our life goals and dreams, have undergone radical transformations. We’ve become deeply afraid of losing the details of a world we’ve never before paid any attention to. Until now.

I know. I’ve been there, done that.

Maybe you’ve begun to fear your future, instead of looking forward to it. Maybe you keep asking yourself “Is this real? Is this really happening?” But if it is not real, why do all the facts add up? Why do all the hopeful dreamers, the Polly Anna’s of the argument, sit squarely on the TV news channels? It’s a ‘lala land’ of “We’ll work it out…somehow” and it’s a bit vague on the details. And it makes a lot of us really nervous. You worry because you are feisty. You don’t take “don’t worry, be happy” for an answer. You keep looking into the issue until your head hurts and you can’t concentrate on your daily life.

The theme of the site is the messy blackboard, all full of action and plans that are written down one minute, only to be erased and re-written the next. We have to keep fluid, mailable, fresh.

But let’s face it: for some of us, this hyper-focus is starting to interfere with our perceptions. And our fears seem all the more unjustified because nothing in our current world appears ‘different.’ Since no one else is worried about it, why should you? But then we look more carefully, and we see that a lot of things have changed.

Peak Oil, climate change, and economic hard times are here.

It takes a special individual to step away from their culture’s commonly accepted view of the future. You’ve stepped away from the pack and slipped down into the rabbit hole…

And it is taking an emotional toll.

“Kathy is a psychologist who actually understands Peak Oil. If you are trying to deal with Peak Oil and all its implications (whether it is partners who don’t agree, family, or friends who think you’ve gone off the deep end) and feel that it’s all getting too much, you would be hard pressed to find someone more qualified and empathic than Kathy to lend you a helping hand if you need it… but if you have the opportunity to either meet with Kathy, hear her speak, or phone/email her to help you make sense of what you are going through, she will be able to help you.”

Those quotes are from people I’ve been working with over the last (almost) five years. They’ve written to me, and told me their stories of coming to grips with Peak Oil awareness and how it has impacted their lives. Read more quotes at: Hey, What do People Say about Dr. K?

I’ve worked with people struggling with these sorts of questions:

• How have other people learned to cope with this realization that things won’t be improving in the foreseeable future? How can I?
• How do I learn to carry on with my life without falling into depression and despair?
• How long does it take people to ‘get back to normal’ and is that even possible or desirable?
• How can I manage the feelings of hopelessness, social isolation, or ridicule from friends and family?
• What do I tell my kids and what if my wife or husband is not on board? Will it kill my marriage or make it stronger? Should I stay or should I go?
• The values and attitudes I now hold have made me a stranger in my own extended family and among my group of friends. But I thought we need a strong community?! Should I forget talking about what I know in order to bond with them? If I do that, how will things change for the better?
• I’ve joined a sustainability group. But there are squabbles and power struggles, and I have become disillusioned. How can I take the lead to change it around?

You have a story to tell, and your story goes right to the very heart of who you are as a person, and the responsibility you share for our current world.

I’ve explored the unique social and emotional challenges we’ll all face in a post-petroleum age. I will help navigate you through the maze of destructive emotional reactions and reach for a more proactive and productive state of mind. We’re extremely relieved to know that others are going through the same emotional roller coaster, or perhaps comforted by the knowledge that this roller coaster is, instead, a train or a boat that bring us to an entirely different sense of ourselves, our world, and our responsible place in it.

“Kathy has helped me work through several different issues and in every case she has opened my eyes in one way or another. I feel like I’m a pretty smart guy, but she can make me see things in a different way that sometimes makes me think, “Why didn’t I see that?” But more than that, she has a gift for zeroing in on where to focus my energy to really start dealing with the problem, rather than just stressing about it.”

The goal isn’t simply to survive, but to thrive in your lifetime and to carve a path for those who come after you. Time is too valuable a gift to waste in confusion or hopelessness.

Figuring out what to do to prepare and motivate yourself, day by day, is a confusing proposition.

Here are some of the questions I’ve helped with:

*Help! I just found out about Peak Oil and I think I’m going crazy!

I know it sure feels like it, but in all likelihood, you aren’t. You’re struggling with real difficulties. The first two years of Peak Oil awareness are the hardest.

*Should I stay or should I go? Am I living in a sustainable place? Does it have a future? Are my neighbors ‘neighborly?’ What kind of things should I be thinking about to figure it all out?

“After we found out about Peak Oil we looked all over for further information so that we could make an informed decision about what to do (or where to go). [W]e have actually packed up and immigrated to a more remote place where we have now been working towards becoming self sufficient and getting out of debt.

The small local community here is a bizarre mix of extreme green (mostly import, and for a large part peak aware) and extreme right (mostly locals, who are not too pleased with the green import). The green import is trying hard to set up a transition town, but they all want to run it. So lots of bickering on that side, and not much space for people like us who want to work together, but will not be taken advantage of or bossed around. The locals, on the other hand, need to know you for a decade or so before they will warm to you.

I contacted Kathy privately about the issues in our community, and she has been invaluable in giving me advice and strategies on dealing with some of the more difficult people we have encountered. The result of this has been that I am more confident and happy that I’m doing the right thing, and that our increasing group of reliable friends will prevail.”

*What do I tell my kids or spouse or family? What if my husband/wife and I aren’t on the same page? Should I think of doing my own thing or not? Should I be planning for college? Teaching my kids basic skills? I think I overdid it, and my kid is acting depressed. Now what? I don’t want them to be labeled as having ‘weird parents.’ What do I say when my extended family or in-laws ‘gloat’ because they think we’re back into ‘recovery?’ How to I activate those I love to take action?

“Thank you so much for the advice and insights about our son, Kathy. The change has been dramatic so far. The first two days were so much better, it was like a dream…”

“I am an engineer who has worked in the energy industry for 21 years… Kathy helped me through some difficult spots with my wife’s spending habits and menopausal symptoms. She helped me understand my role as a father and a community member. I like her because she tells it like it is. No sugar coating. No bullsh*t. And, she walks her talk with a yard full of chickens and a garden. Go see Kathy talk. If you know what it means to have the “peak oil blues” and don’t have anyone to talk to about it then pick up a phone and give Kathy a call.”

*How to I manage all the stress?

Anxiety, worry, fear, even panic or feelings of depression often accompany Peak Oil awareness. It can be particularly worrisome for folks that already have a history of stress reactions or are going through other difficulties like marital trouble, issues with your children, problems at work or unemployment. Stress management, mindfulness and relaxation training are specific skills you can learn to help you deal these conditions. But you also need to do concrete things in order to feel better. It isn’t just a psychological issue. The changes that are happening require real action and the sooner you get started, the calmer you’ll feel.

“If we don’t prepare for peak oil between the ears so to speak, we will waste a lot of valuable personal energy and resources, working ourselves into a wasteful frenzy. The talks you are doing along with the counseling will be an invaluable service to keeping our thought processes from derailing our preparation processes.”

 

*All of my dreams have crashed and burned!

Time to rethink your priorities. Your most strongly held beliefs are still with you, but how do you put them into action? It’s difficult to calmly sort out what you want in the face of an economic collapse, but do you really have a choice?

Is your job the kind that will last into the future? What will your retirement look like in an age of expensive oil? What are the cornerstones of your world that you’ll keep and rebuild from? How important are your roles as parent/spouse/ friend/neighbor? These are the types of questions I’ll help you to sort out.

“It’s funny how we get stuck in one mindset. Then somebody gives us “permission” to change, and suddenly everything is different.”

*I’m all over the place…One minute I’m planning for the future, the next minute I think everything will be okay, and it’s all an exaggeration! The next, visions of Zombies dance in my head!

It is common to want to save money, and then buy something you think of as frivolous; start planting a garden, and go on vacation during harvest time; plan to radically relocalize and then accept a job an hour’s drive away. These are swings in attitudes and behaviors that are helpful to talk out. …and Zombie hordes are hardly motivational visions.

*Help! I’ve just lost my job!

You aren’t alone. Sorting out what to do when you or your spouse is suddenly unemployed is frightening. Get serious. Get focused. Get a plan. I’ll review with you the critical steps you’ll need to quickly cut your expenses, clarify your values, get your family on board, and examine your options.

I’ve been where you are and I’ve gone through the anguish of sorting it out. I won’t waste your time or money sympathizing about how horrible it all is. You know it’s bad. What you need is to move fast and get real.

There are a number of ways we can work together: Video-conferencing like Skype or Gmail conferencing, telephone therapy, or telephone coaching or if you live around me, face-to-face therapy. The choice is yours. But if you can use it, do it.

I’m Ready to Get Started! Tell me how!!